Reddit Tldr of the Subtle Art of Not Giving a F

The Book in Three Sentences

Finding something important and meaningful in your life is the nigh productive use of your time and energy. This is true considering every life has problems associated with it and finding meaning in your life volition help you sustain the effort needed to overcome the particular problems you face up. Thus, we tin can say that the central to living a skilful life is not giving a fuck most more things, but rather, giving a fuck merely virtually the things that align with your personal values.

The Subtle Art of Non Giving a F*ck summary

This is my book summary of The Subtle Fine art of Not Giving a F*ck by Marker Manson. My notes are informal and often contain quotes from the book as well as my own thoughts. This summary also includes fundamental lessons and important passages from the volume.

• Conventional self-help advice which tells you to visualize success and recollect about the blazon of person you desire to be just reinforces the thought that you are not that thing.
• Everyone wants yous to believe that the secret to a good life is to have a nicer job or a better car or a prettier girlfriend.
• The key to a good life is not giving a fuck about more; it's giving a fuck near less, giving a fuck near just what is truthful and immediate and of import.
• We are no longer facing a fabric crisis. We have plenty of resources: TVs and clothes and goods that we don't demand. The problem we face up is existential and spiritual. Nosotros take and so much stuff and so many opportunities that we don't know what to give a fuck about anymore.
• Because at that place's an space corporeality of things we tin at present see or know, in that location are also an infinite number of means we can notice that nosotros don't measure up, that we're non good enough, that things aren't equally great as they could exist.
• The desire for a more positive feel is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one's negative experience is itself a positive experience.
• Pursuing something only reinforces that you lack it in the first place.
• Accepting your experience of life as being bang-up and wonderful is the single greatest thing you can do for your happiness.
• "You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never alive if you are looking for the meaning of life." -Albert Camus
• Everything worthwhile in life is won through surmounting the associated negative experience.
• If you are able to not give a fuck nigh the pain your goals crave, and so you get unstoppable.
• The moments when we don't requite a fuck and take activeness are frequently the moments that most define the form of our lives.
• You are going to die someday. Everyone you know is going to die soon. And in your brusque life you only have a certain amount of fucks to give.
• Learning how to focus and prioritize your thoughts effectively based on finely honed personal values is possibly the greatest and most important struggle in life.
• Subtlety #1: Not giving a fuck is not about being indifferent. Information technology merely means you're comfortable with being unlike. Don't say fuck it to everything in life, just to the unimportant things.
• Subtlety #2: To non give a fuck near adversity, you must get-go care about something more of import than adversity.
• Subtlety #3: Whether you lot realize it or non, yous are always choosing what to requite a fuck about. The fundamental is to gradually prune the things yous intendance most, so that you simply give a fuck on the most important of occasions.
• When a person has no problems, the heed automatically finds a manner to invent some.
• I think what most people — peculiarly educated, pampered middle-class white people — consider "life issues" are really only side effects of not having anything more important to worry about.
• Finding something of import and meaningful in your life is possibly the near productive use of your time and energy.
• It'due south okay for things to suck some of the time.
• Practical enlightenment is the human activity of becoming comfortable with the idea that some suffering is always inevitable.
• At that place is no value in suffering when it is done without purpose.
• Don't promise for a life without problems. Promise for a life with good problems.
• Bug never stop. They merely get exchanged or upgraded.
• Happiness is found in solving issues, non avoiding them.
• True happiness occurs only when you observe the problems yous enjoy having and savour solving. Happiness is wanting the issues you lot accept and wanting to solve them.
• Emotions are simply biological signals designed to nudge yous in the direction of beneficial modify.
• Negative emotions are a sign that something is going unaddressed. They are a call to activeness. Positive emotions are the reward for taking the correct activity.
• We should question our emotions because they are non always correct.
• Don't ask yourself what you want out of life. Information technology's easy to want success and fame and happiness and great sex. Everybody wants those things. A much more interesting question to ask yourself is, "What kind of hurting practice I want?" What you are willing to struggle for is a greater determinant of how our lives turn out.
• You can't simply be in love with the consequence. Everybody loves the result. Y'all have to love the process.
• The climb to the top is a never-ending upward spiral with new problems always surfacing and new processes that you must fall in love with. You are never allowed to stop climbing considering the entire point is to love the climb. If you ever stop loving the climb, the results will never come up.
• Cocky-esteem, by itself, is overrated. It doesn't help to experience good about yourself unless y'all take a adept reason for feeling that mode. The struggle makes self-esteem useful, non the participation trophy.
• Your problems are not privileged in their severity or pain. You are non unique in your suffering.
• The more exposed we are to opposing viewpoints, the more we seem to get upset that those other viewpoints exist. This seems like a logical trend to me because earlier the net and our hyper-continued modernistic globe, people didn't take as much likelihood of running into ideas that disagreed with their own. Today, alternate ideas are far more likely to cross your radar screen.
• Most of us are pretty average at nigh things we do. Even if you're exceptional at one matter, chances are you lot're average or beneath average at about other things.
• Our lives today are filled with information from the extremes of the bell curve of human experience. The best of the best, worst of the worst, and most upsetting of the upsetting. We only see the most exceptional news stories because that'due south what drives acquirement. This is a real problem when information technology comes to comparing considering yous can but be exceptional in one thing thing and you're going to exist below average in near everything else. That makes comparison a very unsafe game to play.
• The problem is that the pervasiveness of engineering science and mass marketing is screwing upwards a lot of people'south expectations for themselves.
• Ane of the most pervasive narratives near masculinity in our civilisation is that the near valuable matter a man can accomplish is sex activity and it's worth sacrificing about anything to become it. (Interestingly, this corresponds to one of the ascendant female narratives, which is that the greatest matter a woman tin can be is beautiful.)
• People who are exceptional go that way by thinking they are average and focusing on improvement. You don't become exceptional by believing you are exceptional.
• The more uncomfortable the answer, the more likely it is to be true.
• Bug are inevitable, but what they mean is flexible. We get to command what our problems hateful to us based on how we choose to think about them and how we choose to measure them. The way we measure success influences how we view the problems we face.
• "Pleasure is a false god. Research shows that people who focus their energy on superficial pleasures end upward more broken-hearted, more emotionally unstable, and more depressed. Pleasure is the most superficial form of life satisfaction and therefore the easiest to obtain and the easiest to lose."
• People who base their cocky-worth on being right most everything forestall themselves from learning from their mistakes.
• "1 day, in retrospect, the years of struggle volition strike you as the nigh beautiful." -Sigmund Freud
• People who are terrified of what others think well-nigh them are actually terrified of all the negative things they think about themselves beingness reflected back at them.
• When we feel that we're choosing our issues, nosotros feel empowered. When we feel that our problems are being forced upon united states against our will, nosotros feel victimized and miserable.
• We don't always control what happens to u.s.. Only nosotros e'er control how we interpret what happens to the states, as well equally how nosotros respond.
• Accepting responsibility for our problems is the first step to solving them.
• A lot of people hesitate to take responsibility for their problems because they believe that to be responsible for your bug is also to exist at error for your issues. This is not true. We are responsible for experiences that aren't our fault all the time. This is role of life.
• People volition often fight over who gets to exist responsible for successful and happiness. But taking responsibility for our problems is far more important because that's where existent learning comes from.
• Growth is an endlessly iterative process. When we learn something new, we don't become from "wrong" to "right." Rather, we go from incorrect to slightly less wrong. We shouldn't seek to notice the ultimate "right" reply for ourselves, simply rather, nosotros should seek to chip away at the means that we're wrong today so that we can exist a little less wrong tomorrow.
• Certainty is the enemy of growth.
• All beliefs are wrong—some are just less wrong than others.
• Counterintuitive insight by Baumeister regarding evil: some of the worst criminals often felt practiced well-nigh themselves. Low self-esteem was not ever associated with evil acts.
• The more you lot endeavor to become certain most a particular outcome, the more uncertain and insecure yous will feel.
• The more y'all comprehend being uncertain and non knowing, the more comfy you will feel in knowing what you don't know.
• The man who believes he knows everything learns zilch.
• Manson's Law of Avoidance: The more than something threatens your identity, the more you volition avoid it. The more something threatens how yous view yourself, the more you will avoid getting around to doing it.
• If I believe I'm a prissy guy, I'll avoid situations that could potentially contradict that belief. If I believe I'1000 an awesome cook, I'll seek out opportunities to evidence that to myself over and over again. The belief e'er takes precedence.
• Manson's thought of "impale yourself" is similar to Paul Graham's idea of "keep your identity small." The fundamental point is that if you don't have an identity to protect, then alter becomes much easier.
• For any modify to happen in your life, you lot must accept that you were wrong about something yous were doing before.
• "It is the mark of an educated mind to exist able to entertain a thought without accepting it." -Aristotle
• If it feels like it's you versus the globe, chances are it's really just you versus yourself.
• The magnitude of your success is tied to how many times y'all've failed at that matter.
• Goals are limited in the amount of happiness they can provide in our lives because they are finite. In one case yous achieve the goal, information technology can no longer provide happiness because the finish line has been crossed. Paradoxically, so, by choosing processes as your focus, you can increase your overall, lifelong happiness by focusing on the process and non the goal. Processes never stop, which means happiness can keep indefinitely.
• Action isn't just the effect of motivation; it's also the cause of it. Do something and inspiration volition follow.
• How do yous write a tons of books? Write "200 crappy words per day" and you'll discover motivation often flows out of you.
• Manson'southward "do something" principle sounds a lot similar the philosophy backside the two-infinitesimal rule. Practise something at present, even if information technology's really small, and let proficient actions pour as a upshot.
• To truly appreciate something, you must confine yourself to it. There's a certain level of joy and meaning that yous reach in life simply when you've spent decades investing in a unmarried human relationship, a unmarried craft, a single career. And you cannot accomplish those decades of investment without rejecting the alternatives.
• The mark of an unhealthy relationship is when 2 people endeavor to solve each other's problems in society to feel good about themselves.
• Trust is the most important ingredient in whatever relationship for the simple reason that without trust the relationship doesn't actually mean annihilation.
• Investing securely in one person, one place, one job, one action might deny us the latitude of experience we'd like, merely pursuing a breadth of experience denies us the opportunity to savor the rewards of depth of experience.
• Delivery, in its own way, offers a wealth of opportunity and experiences that would never otherwise be available to y'all, no affair how many surface level experiences you pursued.
• Rejection of alternatives liberates the states. In a strange style, commitment to i matter offers more liberty than anything else because it relieves you of all the second guessing about what else is out there.
• If in that location is no reason to do anything, if life is pointless, so there is besides no reason to not practice anything. What do you have to lose? You lot're going to die anyhow, so your fears and embarrassments and failures don't mean anything. You might equally well endeavor.
• All of the meaning in our life is shaped by our innate want to never truly die. Our physical bodies will die, but nosotros cling to the idea that we tin can live on through religion, politics, sports, fine art, and technological innovation.
• The just way to be comfortable with death is to understand and run into yourself as something bigger than yourself, to contribute to some much larger entity.
• It is the act of choosing your values and living by them that makes you great, not any outcome or accomplishment.
• "Nosotros're all going to die, all of usa. What a circus! That lone should make u.s. love each other, but it doesn't." -Charles Bukowski

Reading Suggestions

This is a list of authors, books, and concepts mentioned in The Subtle Art of Non Giving a F*ck, which might be useful for hereafter reading.

• The Denial of Death past Ernest Becker

The Subtle Fine art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson

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Source: https://jamesclear.com/book-summaries/the-subtle-art-of-not-giving-a-fck